Foods for your Hole

I've more or less given up any hope on finding a real job, so I started looking at grocery store jobs and saw that Whole Foods in Troy was hiring cashiers. I could have filled out the application online and sent it, faceless and personality-less, to some corporate office, but I thought it better to show up at the store in person: "see here? I've made this effort to come all the way out to show you how enthusiastic I am about your grocery store chain and being a part of it!" The lady at the customer service desk told me (in a I've-been-smoking-for-the-past-forty-years voice) "you can fill out an application online." Then a younger girl told me there was a kiosk in produce where I could fill out an application. It was just a computer with the online application. Damnit, I said to myself. I'm going home to fill this out.

At home I started the painstakingly long process of filling out the application. Near the end of the application process, there were 99 questions regarding my personality (i.e. "when you finish a task you look for more work to do - strongly disagree, disagree, agree, stronly agree.") There was a question that asked, "You hate it when the court lets a guilty criminal go free." WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT AND WHY WOULD A COURT LET A GUILTY CRIMINAL GO FREE? What court says, "this person is clearly guilty and a criminal, but we're going to let him go free anyway because the American justice system clearly does not work" ? I wonder if I'll get the job.