This weekend, my cousin became a Man in grand Miami Beach style

I suppose it's nigh time I included a post about my weekend in Miami Beach for the bar mitzvah of one Daniel Gaines. The weekend featured great food, great family, great fun, and even great rabbis. Which reminds me of a joke: what made Hitler's dog foam at the mouth? Rabbis.

We (Dad and I) got into Miami a little after three p.m. on Friday, met Brother at the airport, and took a cab to the Eden Roc, the home of bar mitzvah debauchery. The cab driver told us that he was still without power from hurrican Wilma. Nuts. There were signs of destruction all around, mostly in the form of palm trees with no fronds. We arrived at the hotel, checked in, and spent a little time luxuriating in our surroundings. Later on, dinner at a Chinese place with all the family. Then Friday night services, with two great rabbis and the best oneg shabbat ever. Then, back to the hotel for drinks in the lobby. I eventually wandered onto the beach, enjoying the balmy sea-breeze, when what should I happen across but a shark. No lie. Albeit, a small and rather dead shark, but a shark nonetheless. We took pictures which I will eventually have sent to me and will post just to prove my point.

Saturday, had a nice breakfast with Brother, then changed into the old bathing suit and spent a few hours poolside, reading, warming, drinking pina coladas. Then upstairs to change for Bar Mitzvah festivities. At the actual Bar Mitzvah Service Danny did wonderfully. He read from the Torah like a true man. And he looked great in his silk Armani suit. After services, I was in charge of making sure that all of Danny's friends made it onto one of the limos that were waiting to take them to the party at the Eden Roc. When we finally all got there, we were treated to cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. Danny's pug, Roxy, made an appearance in a sequined ball-gown - utterly cruel, though she was pretty damn cute.

We were finally ushered in for dinner in the grand ballroom, half of which had been sectioned off and turned into Central Park (the theme was New York). Music, a Liza Minelli impersonator (still not certain if that was a man or a woman), the Rockettes, dancing, great food, more drinks, a cake shaped like Tiffany's boxes, a chocolate fountain... it goes on and on. After the party, Danny had the Elizabeth Taylor pent house suite, where we hung out for a little before I absolutely had to go to sleep.

The next day, Sunday, we had brunch out near the Eden Roc pool, then we all grabbed our luggage and moved into two poolside cabanas for the rest of the day. Eventually we all had to leave, so we got dressed and headed to my aunt and uncle's house. We had dinner at the cafe at Books and Books, walked around Lincoln Road, and eventually went home.

Monday was my last day in Miami. Despite Jon and Karen begging me to stay longer, I had to leave that night as I had a job interview the next day. I got my hair cut at a place called Snip and all thanks to Lee for making me look fabulous. Dad and Brother and I had lunch on Lincoln Road, walked around, looked in some stores (Brother got a sweet new pair of Reeboks) and eventually headed home, where the rest of my day was spent just relaxing and hanging out with the family before they took me to the airport.

Thanks to the Miami Gaineses for a phenomenal weekend (though no one was surprised). And to all those who haven't yet been to Miami, maybe it's time you went.